Cold water rebirth

After surgery, you aren’t allowed to swim or take a bath for a while - until the scar has healed and infection risk has gone. Six weeks, is what they say.

I went to the vinterbad (our cold water swimming club, with sauna-portakabins) six weeks after my first breast surgery. It felt kind of exhilarating, debuting a new body, seeing how it felt in the cold and the hot. A few days later was my second surgery. Six weeks after that, it is starting to feel like spring but the water is still pretty cold. I went again. My body is more changed now: even though my breast is small, people could probably tell there is only one if they look.

But I woke up one morning last week after trying out my two prosthetic options, and realised I’d rather just be me. Much like with the wigs. One is too much cleaning, the other will never stay in place. So I will just be me. No faffing around with special underwear and bits of silicone. Just asymmetrical me. I will grow to love my scar. In a way I already do. I’d sometimes thought how it could be  dull to see the same body and face in the mirror every day of your life. Now my body tells a story, my story, it is unique. Childbirth and cancer.